


juicy juicy succ succ

by TittySprinkles



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Multi, Twerking, ass eating(literally), but it's okay because theyre fine, dave is basically donald trump, everyone dies, grotesque skeleton monsters, innapropriate trump jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-09-30 19:51:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10170545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TittySprinkles/pseuds/TittySprinkles
Summary: dave, john, and karkat get into some preelection fun. Crack





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [axolotlNerd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/axolotlNerd/gifts).



> this was written in a hotel room in the outer banks (NC), with four other roommates present in April of last year. So this was before the election, it's crack, it's all in fun. When I first finished writing this I read it to my four roommates and we had a good laugh. Same with most of my other crack fics.

Dave was a man with many ideas. Then, he got another one. This idea was a good one and he would do it. He would not let his dreams be dreams.   
Dave was a businessman. He knew how to make dat bank doe. He wanted to make America great again. So he would. He ran in the presidential election and won because he was the only one running.  
He went to his best friend John to celebrate the good news.   
“Good job.” Said John.  
“Yeah, thanks. This win is hUGE. You know what else is hUGE?”  
“What?”  
“My trump stump ;)”  
“Mmm lemme see all that trump, all that trump that’s in your stump.”  
Dave whipped out his moneystick and did the impress to John. John was impressed.  
“That is huge!” Said John. It was sixteen miles in diameter.  
“Thanky thanky.”  
“Gimme that money money.”  
John started to do the seduction dance #twerking on Dave. Karkat walked into the room and did a gasp.  
“Why u no share with me this is #unfair I’m #triggered”  
“Get on this trump rump stump Karkitty bitch.”  
Dave used his president powers to nakify all of them. John was twerking on Dave in a circle around him like a shark circles its prey. Naked, beautiful, maybe he’s born with it. Maybe it’s Neighbelline. Karkat clung onto Dave’s dick like a sloth on a tree and screamed but it’s okay nobody is hurt it’s a sexy scream.   
“Spank me daddy.” Karkat shrieked in Latin and Dave nodded so hard there was a tornado in China.  
Dave landed the palm of his orange painted hand on Karkat’s supple grey ass and Karkat screamed, “OH YEAH BUILD THAT WALL”. For every spank Karkat shrieked a Donald Trump tweet until there were no tweets to scream. John’s butt got tired and so Dave took over twerking for him. Karkat poured some strawberry jello onto Dave’s dick and John’s ass so they got lubed up well and dandy.  
Dave put the trump stump of love into John’s sass ass. Karkat continued screaming rythmically while Dave touched his imaginary tiddies. Karkat’s got no tiddies but that’s okay because Dave is the president oh yeah president sex Dave is drowning in all the sexy money.  
“Karkat give me your ass.” Dave went into a short speech. “In this game, you gotta eat the whole ass. The whole ass man.”  
Karkat took off his ass and handed it to Dave. Dave put it on a plate, got out his knife and fork, and ate the ass. It was delicious.   
Then came the acid rain. It burned the flesh off of all of the bones of everyone. Everyone could live in peace together as bones fused together into a horrifying monster of three skeletons mangled and semi-melted into one mass of jutting shapes. It was beautiful. The sex was over and everyone died the end.


End file.
